Your Values Are Like Your Built-in Compass
An Intro to Personal Values
By Angie Pincin, C-level Executive Coach
Lenore Mewton, M.S.W., PCC for Coach People Inc.
Here’s how the Webster-Dictionary.org defines values:
Values: def. n : beliefs of a person or social group in which they have an emotional investment (either for or against something)
Values are like a compass; when you know what’s important to you in your work and personal life you have a better sense of direction, feel more grounded, make better decisions and feel, overall, happier. When we say: he or she has strong Character-it means they are consistently living their Values and doing the right thing, under stress and when nobody’s looking. That’s what makes them great!
Coaches often use assessments to help people distinguish and articulate their Values to help clarify their purpose, direction and goals. Do you know, given a specific contraversial scenario or choice- point at home or at work, which Values you’d align with your decisions, be willing to trade off, or which are non-negotiable? What’s most important to you? Can others identify your Values by way of your daily behaviors and choices? Whose Values are you living? Yours? Society? Family? Friends? Significant Others’?
Values are also applicable to teams and enterprises. We’ve seen great examples of companies like Southwest Airlines who go as far as painting one of their key Values on the underbelly of all their planes, all the way to examples of organizations who espoused living their Values, only to find out that they betrayed their employees, shareholders and vendor-partners. Examples that come to mind are: Enron, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC and of late, some financial services corporations like Wells Fargo debacle as extreme examples of executives not making decisions aligned with corporate Values instead being driven by greed, self-serving priorities and fear.
Ironically, one of the organizations lauded in the past for bringing opportunity to low-income areas, was Enron. Enron’s fall brought about the demise of one of its subsidiaries, Enron Investment Partners (EIP), who at 2 years old, distributed over $18 million within minority and women-owned businesses. The impact of leaders not leading by a strong inner compass or Values can be devastating and the memory of a breach in trust, can last for decades.
Executive leaders are expected to balance and integrate the best interests of all their shareholders, individuals, teams, vendor-partners board and clients. The expression of organizational Values through consistent action and deeds is a critical component for trust building. And trust is at the foundation for any great relationship and brand-building, be it personal or corporate.
People are attracted to individuals who have depth, but are uncomplicated, have no “agendas” or barriers to contend with, they’re seen as Authentic Leaders. One of the guiding principles behind this behavior, or way of being, is an individual highly aligned with their Values, or their core essence. This same concept is true for teams and enterprises. Authentic leaders are known for being ‘real’, giving clear direction or feedback, are self-assured, open, willing to share time, knowledge, resources, and dedicated to the success of others and wise in the face of adversity. Their wisdom, comes in part, from being able to reflect, respond and not react under stress and align choices with Values and Guiding Principles.
Your values are therefore central to what makes you unique; they represent a part of WHO you are, that shapes WHAT you do. You have a distinctive imprint much like your fingerprints are singular to each individual and snowflakes are different from one another.
When you think about how you’d like others to see you, chances are you’re thinking in terms of the outer expression of your Values; or how you express your unique DNA or core essence. Examples of expressions of Values are: Trust, integrity, respect, empathy, growth, passion, caring, connection, accountability, prosperity, health and service to others, to name a few.
How do you know if your Values are ‘showing’ or not in your daily choices?
Consider the following Values Challenge exercise:
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou
- What’s important to you? Brings you Joy, Fulfillment or a sense of Meaning? Accomplishment?
- Are there any themes? What do you consistently Value?
- What makes you Angry? (Or: Not Value consistently?)
- List 3-5 Values? How do you know these are your top 3 Values? Can you imagine life without these Values?
- If you were to ask someone close to you at home or your manager at work of their impression of your most important top 3-5 Values, would they guess right & be on target? (The same applies for corporate cultures-can clients see the Values expressed in the quality & delivery of products and services?)
- If your core Values are not ‘showing’, i.e., those around you can’t identify these top 3-likely, their behavior towards you is more reflective of how you choose to ‘show up’ in your life. What this means is if say one of your top Values is Respect; and you don’t Respect yourself, why should they? To get aligned with your top 3 Values, what do you need to do more of or less of, to express, using this example: Respect. Your life will begin to be more fulfilling and less complicated when you begin to live your Values consistently.
- How would your life change if you honored your top 3 Values?
NOTE: Fieldwork is “homework” assigned by a coach as an opportunity for their clients to experience learning, outside their 1:1 (or team) coaching session on the subject they’re exploring for 2 weeks so that they can experience the theory in action & come back to the coaching session with insights, feedback, questions, goals or results.
Fieldwork #1: Complete for two weeks:
Answer question # 1-7 for yourself in your journal. Be sure to capture the dates and details of your answers. Then ask 3 people close to you this week, at home, work, and/or community, the answer to question number 5. If you have a coach, discuss your answers and what 1 or 2 changes you want to make to fine tune your actions to better align with your Values.
If you’re not working with a coach, discuss your answers with someone close to you at home or at work that you trust who can brainstorm ideas, solutions, goals, give you feedback and hold you accountable for any change in habits you must make to be better aligned with what you Value. You will know that you’re successful when you consistently express your Values and it is noticed or observed by others. People usually receive consistent positive feedback when they’re Living their Values. For example: “Bob has high integrity;” “Linked-In has a growth culture.” “Margaret is a great leader, she’s generous, very creative and fun to be around.” Or “Oliver is very intelligent, innovative and collaborative.”
Notice how your life, team or enterprise results change for the positive when choices are consistently aligned with stated Values consistently. We suggest realigning on one Value at a time. You might ask yourself: “What if I still don’t know what my core Values are?
What’s really most important to me?” Sometimes the layers of everyday life, often multiply into years, and the accumulation of all these years is all you can see, or is the only reality you know, right now. Be compassionate with yourself as you become more aware of who you are. We suggest that you carve out 30 minutes per day to explore questions 1-7 on page 3.
In coaching our clients, we ask them to bring their ‘whole self’ forward, to become keener ‘observers’ of themselves and to dedicate reflection time daily to become aware. If your life was a play and you were sitting in the balcony, observing yourself interacting with others, what would you notice about yourself? Are the 3 Values you’ve articulated above, observable? in how you speak and interact with others? How often? When, where, and with who do you express your Values more consistently? Where do you feel more blocked as far as expressing these top 3 Values? What would make you express that (or those) Values more consistently across the board?
When you’ve discovered your core value(s), reflect on how can you integrate them into your daily life at home & at work?
What about all those other demands you’re dealing with? As you live your Values consistently, you’ll experience changes in your perspective and behaviors under stress. Just by improving your ability to ‘pause’ or to step back and self-observe, you’ll create the right level of awareness to shift behaviors, in the moment, that no longer serve you and likely were never aligned with your Values.
Fieldwork #2:
As if wearing new glasses, begin looking at the opportunities and challenges around you through the lens of your top 3 identified Values e.g., if strengthening your integrity is an identified top 3 Values. Then integrity should be your key focus, start noticing all the ways you currently act, speak, make decisions at home and at work around integrity. This exercise is to bring your top 3 Values, in this case, integrity into full focus. Check in with yourself after one week, then two; what did you notice? Are you consistently making better choices aligned with integrity?
How do you feel when your choices are more aligned with your integrity? Are there still any barriers? What would you like to do more of? Less of? Or keep the same? How do you sustain your actions with integrity, especially under stress? Don’t forget to celebrate your successes along the way. When you choose a Value, it’s important to express it consistently at home and at work. It’s the only way we’ll feel less fragmented, more whole and effective.
Self-discovery is a process that can last a lifetime. Einstein famously said: Our quest for understanding is eternal. Like learning, you are never past the point of improving your awareness as a leader to become a better leader at home and at work.
Those who stop learning, simply put: stop growing. Take the Values Challenge! You may have new discoveries ahead as you uncover hidden Values or inner gems; or can celebrate the fullness of your current expression of your core Values.
Take the expression of Values to another level; how can you become a better leader at home and at work? How would you become more influential and authentic at work if you lived your Values more consistently? How can you enable others on your team to become more effective and grow if you live your Values as a role model (and the corporate Values, if applicable?) How can you enhance the corporate citizenship within your organization? How can you be a better Friend? Community leader? What impact would your organization like to have within its own borders, clients and the greater network? What legacy do you want to leave as a leader? What are your organization’s top Values? Are these Values recognized in the brand? How would your team or organizational results change if leaders and employees were aligned and lived the top Values consistently?
The cost of a thing is that amount of life, which must be exchanged for it.Are your personal Values aligned with your organizations’? Team? friends’? What would you like to do about it? Why should anyone follow you as a leader? These are all coaching questions designed to further examine the power of Values at home and at work. When you choose not to live your Values, it’s like giving up a built-in GPS system that guides your choices and actions through life. Try Living Your Values Everyday and see your life become more meaningful, positive, healthier and productive.
– Henry David Thoreau
We’d love to hear from you and your experience, send us your reflections and we’ll publish success stories in the next newsletter.
To learn more about this topic, our Culture & Values consulting services or 1:1 or team coaching or training services, please contact us at info@coachpeople.com.
